Similar to riding dragons, I am now convinced no one truly knows how to buy a home until they buy a home. Regardless of how many books you read, people with whom you speak and parental scoldings you endure, the process is daunting. It makes you feel small. It makes you feel less in control. Especially when it’s your first time.

Jessie and I were children — carefree kids in Houston and El Paso, respectively — when we last lived in purchased homes. Our parents did that for us. They gave us space that was ours. We always knew homeownership was a critical family milestone, much more than thinking, “Someday, it would be nice…” It wasn’t until today I realized why.

Our search began almost a year ago when Jessie “gently” reminded me that our goal of purchasing a home was overdue by approximately 16 months. She’s excellent at reminding. Based on the recommendation of a trusted friend, I drove to the Woodlands to meet with Kevin Collins of Collins Realty Group. My plan was pretty straightforward: find a home within a certain budget in an area no more than 5 miles from where we currently live. Oh, and no flooding. Ever! Also, we wouldn’t mind a small fixer-upper…something we could make our own. You know, something without souped-up crown moulding and two-bowl kitchen sinks. We definitely didn’t want to inherit someone else’s design choices. Jessie reminded me of that, too.

Then came the listings. No…no…no…maybe…no…maybe…no…depends…no. We searched for months before we scheduled viewings. Our first batch of viewings included four homes stretched from Westwood to near Sharpstown. The last one we viewed that day was a sturdy fixer-upper on the near side of Westbury nestled on a closed-in corner of McKnight Street. It seemed perfect. Plenty of space, ample formal living room area that we could easily convert to a playroom for the kids. The features were old, but there was enough there to keep me and Jessie busy with improvements for years. Could it be? Did we find the perfect home on our first viewing?

No.

We offered. Someone with more money offered more.

It was a big defeat. There was no amount of, “These things happen; It’s normal; Be patient,” to assuage the gut punch we both felt. Prior to our offer, we began dreaming of improvements, details and the small things you add to a place to make it yours, ours. But that didn’t happen. We had to pick up pieces and move forward.

So this is what the search process is really like. No…no…maybe…no…maybe. We visited more homes. Each time it was about four or five new homes that just never measured up to the original McKnight expectations.

As the holidays rolled near, we found something different yet intriguing. A two-story monster of a home on Vickijohn Street, closer to the west end of Westbury. Space was overflowing. It had a study, four bedrooms including a cavernous master and a kitchen that screamed Sunday gravy. The owner was eager to get rid of the property, and we explored purchasing the home with an added renovation loan. After multiple inspections and assessment of renovations, we concluded ultimately that we couldn’t afford to make the home livable, especially for the kids. It was too rundown, too out of date.

The defeat we felt here was worse.

Christmas happened next, and we shut down the search for a bit. Right before closing the computer, Jessie did find one listing from our realtor that seemed intriguing, but not enough to interrupt the holidays. We’ll revisit after the New Year, see if the listing is still up. Likely it will be gone by January, but you never know. Besides, it didn’t look that great.

The home she tagged had never flooded. It was closer to our current home than the McKnight home. It was linked to a great Elementary and wonderful Middle School. And it had this curious familiarity. Indeed, it was the exact same layout as the McKnight home, and in somewhat better shape.

Neither Jessie nor I had the strength to look at homes after the Vickijohn fumble. We almost let this one go. It wasn’t until mid-January that I lazily opened the search page back up and suggested that we go take a look at the Starkridge home over a weekend.

What happened next…would change everything.